Avoiding the Nagging Trap: A Reminder System for Teenagers with ADHD

The Reminder-Nagging Cycle

Teenagers, especially those with ADHD, need constant reminders. The catch? These reminders often slip into the realm of nagging, a detrimental habit in parenting. Why? It's all about individuation - the biological necessity for teenagers to become independent. This natural process clashes with our role as their 'surrogate prefrontal cortex,' creating friction and resentment.

Introducing the Post-it System

To break this cycle, I propose a simple yet effective reminder system that involves Post-its (Post-it notes). This system removes the parent from the equation and empowers teens to take responsibility for their tasks.

How It Works:

1. Designate Reminder Depots: Identify two places in your home frequently visited by your teenager, like their bathroom mirror or the refrigerator door.

2. One Reminder Per Post-it: Write down only the most crucial reminders, one per Post-it note.

3. The Two Scenarios:

   • Immediate Action: The teen reads the Post-it, registers it, removes it, and either discards it or puts it in their pocket, signaling their commitment to the reminder.
   • Reinforced Reminder: The Post-it is moved to their student planner for a later reminder, reinforcing the action through their day.

Why This System Works

The Post-it system effectively shifts responsibility to the teenager. Once they remove a Post-it, they signal their understanding and commitment to the task. This reduces your need to nag and fosters their independence.

Implementing the System

Start by trying it at home. Adapt and modify it based on your family's needs and your teenager's input. Remember, the more involved they are in developing and implementing the system, the more likely they'll adhere to it.

The Goal

Aim for 80% efficacy. Perfect compliance isn't the target - a significant reduction in nagging and an increase in responsibility is. Over time, you'll likely see a positive change in your parent-child relationship as nagging decreases and your teen steps up.

So, give it a try! Customize it, tweak it, and observe the transformation in your household dynamics.

Thank you for joining me on this journey of learning and growth. Remember, you're not just fostering responsibility in your teenager; you're also building a harmonious home environment.