A Powerful Parenting Strategy: Strong. Calm. Done.

Introduction: Parenting a teenager can often feel like navigating through a storm. Tensions can escalate quickly, and maintaining control without exacerbating the situation can be challenging. In these moments, a concise strategy is crucial. I'm excited to share a powerful three-word technique, devised by ADHD coach Cindy Goldrich, that has revolutionized the way many parents handle high-stakes situations: "Strong. Calm. Done."

The Essence of 'Strong. Calm. Done.': This technique serves as a non-verbal affirmation of who is in charge, helping to defuse potential escalations. It's succinct yet potent, embodying three core principles essential in effective parenting:

1. Strong: This is about showing resilience and unwavering support. Being 'strong' doesn’t mean you have all the answers, but it does mean that you are a reliable anchor for your teen—solid, confident, and endlessly loving.

2. Calm: 'Calm' refers to being imperturbable. Regardless of how turbulent the situation gets, maintaining your composure is key. This part of the technique involves embodying tranquility and stability, ensuring that you do not react impulsively or emotionally.

3. Done: 'Done' is used when a non-negotiable line must be drawn. This is for moments when the rules are clear, the boundaries are set, and there is no room for negotiation. It signals that the discussion is over, reinforcing rules and values decisively.

Practical Applications of 'Strong. Calm. Done.':

• Scenario 1: Handling Distractions at School A mother uses this technique when she learns her son with ADHD is distracted by his phone in class. They agreed he would leave his phone at home during school days to avoid distractions. Despite his pleas, she reaffirms the rule with a firm "Strong Calm Done," effectively putting an end to the discussion by underscoring their agreement calmly and firmly.

• Scenario 2: Addressing Disrespect at Home Another instance is a family dealing with their daughter's oppositional behavior at home. When she becomes spiteful, her parents respond with "Strong Calm Done." They calmly set the boundary that disrespectful language is not tolerated, quickly ending the conversation and moving on, thus recalibrating the teenager's behavior.

Conclusion: "Strong. Calm. Done." is more than just words; it's a philosophy. It teaches parents to engage with their teenagers from a place of strength and calmness, ensuring that boundaries are respected and understood without escalation. This method not only supports healthy communication but also instills confidence and security in teenagers, helping them understand the importance of boundaries.

Remember, parenting is both a challenging and rewarding job. Techniques like "Strong. Calm. Done." provide the tools to manage difficult situations more effectively, fostering a healthier and more respectful family dynamic.